My 72 year old mother-in-law hasn’t been feeling right for a couple months.  I have to admit at first I thought it was just Baba being Baba.  When I call my MIL and ask her how she is she always tells me exactly how she is.  “Well, I got a little headache this morning and my knee has been a bit sore and there’s a pain in my back and my bursitis is acting up but other than that I’m alright.”  

I guess it should come as no surprise that her doctor dismissed her symptoms as well, I imagine she hears about the many minor ailments far more than I do.  Still though it is more than a little frustrating when docs dismiss everything as “old age” once your teeth are of a certain length.  Old people can get seriously sick too, it’s not always in their heads or the usual aches and pains of maturity.  It wasn’t until after she fell down that the doctor really started to pay attention.  Katy (my MIL) was taking out the trash the first time she tumbled.  She didn’t slip, she just fell.  Her entire side was bruised and she was in terrible pain for weeks. She confessed to me that she was crying a lot… but not to tell her son because she didn’t want him to worry.  It was however fine for her to make me fret apparently.  A few weeks ago while walking downtown she tumbled again, she said she didn’t get dizzy or woozy or anything, she just dropped like a sack of bricks.  She was fearing for her sanity and feeling more than a little beat up when she went to her doctor and complained again.  They ran some tests to be sure that Katy hadn’t damaged anything when she toppled and it was one of these that showed the spot. 

Last week she was diagnosed with cancer.  The tumor is on her kidney, they are hoping they can remove the entire organ and so far it appears that it has not metastasized so hopefully she won’t even need chemo or radiation. The other problem (as if cancer were not enough) is that she also has something wrong with her heart… some murmur or something.  In a young person apparently a murmur is no big deal but when an older person suddenly gets one it can be a serious issue.  In two weeks she has an appointment to see the surgeon and hopefully by then they will know more about her heart condition so they can proceed with the operation.  With a little luck they will be able to remove her kidney laparoscopically so the organ removal will be less traumatic to her body and her recovery should be considerably easier.

When she told my husband all he heard was the “C” word and not a thing after that.  I called Katy back for the details and had to explain to him that his mother’s situation was not as dire as the word implies.  She actually sounded very optimistic and she is prepared to face whatever comes with a tenacity I knew she possessed but I had never seen.  She is relieved to know what is wrong with her and that she is not losing her mind and that the cancer explains the falling down… apparently it has something to do with inadequate blood flow and it messes up everything else.  She seems better than she has in a while and informed me that her God is also with her and He brings her courage.  I am not a religious woman (no really, I know that is a shocker) but I am grateful that people like my MIL can take the kind of comfort and ‘support’ that a faith in something beyond themselves can provide.

I am not writing a tribute to my MIL because she isn’t going anywhere, at least not for a good long time.  That said, cancer is still scary and despite what I tell my husband I am afraid for his mother and I worry about both of them.  I feel like I am the one who has to stay strong and on top of things and ask the right questions and remember the details.  She is old school and doesn’t always understand things and my husband gets pretty worked up at the idea of her being sick and that renders him a little scattered sometimes and understandably.  He would do anything for his mom… short of donating his own kidney that is.  He has a horseshoe kidney (the two are attached) so if for some reason her remaining kidney doesn’t function properly he can’t give her one of his because technically he only has one as well.  I told her this is a pretty convenient situation for him and assured her if the need arose she is more than welcome to have one of mine. 

Yes, I love my MIL that much.